Just Watched: Intruder (1989)

Both Sam Raimi and his brother have parts in Intruder 

By the end of the 80's it seemed like there really hadn't been places that slasher films had taken place in: camps, forests, schools, dances, houses and even mines had all been covered, but one place that hadn't really been explored was supermarkets. That all changed in 1989 with the release of Intruder.

Intruder tells the story about a supermarket night crew who have just found out they have lost their jobs because the store is closing soon. They also had a run in with an ex-boyfriend who spent some time in jail. Eventually the workers get picked off one by one. Is it the ex or somebody else killing off the crew??

There are many odd camera angles such as this one in the floor

Although Sam Raimi didn't direct this movie his fingerprints are all over it. There are interesting shots throughout the entire film such as in the floor, a phone and grocery cart. There's also a comedic flair to it as well, but it's done in a way that doesn't take away from the film if you're not laughing.

As interesting as the filming was though, Intruder is a little dull when the kills aren't happening. There's really no tension or atmosphere here but the kills themselves are quite violent and bloody and usually have a joke that goes along with them. For example, as someone is getting sliced, they immediately show a watermelon getting sliced, or as someone is killed, as they fall they reveal a sign behind them that warns them about what just happend.

Intruder is also a nice change for those that are tired of some of the usual slasher cliches. There's no big party, no drunk people, no sex, no nudity, just people working, or pretending to work at their nightly jobs. Those looking for Bruce Campbell should know he only has a cameo, and is not a star. Also, for Three Stooges fans, keep an eye out for a great cameo with Emil Sitka in one of his last roles.

Many deaths are shown from unique angles

Availability: Intruder is available on DVD from Full Moon Pictures and DVD/Blu-ray combo from Synapse. Avoid the Full Moon release if at all possible as it contains spoilers (including the killer) all over the box art and blatantly advertises it like Bruce Campbell is the star, which he is not. It also has poor picture quality and no movie related extras other than the trailer that reveals the whole plot and killer for you. The Synapse release has much better picture quality and contains a load of extras.

While Intruder is far from one of the best slashers out there it is worth a look for slasher fans looking for something a bit different. Nothing here is particularly great, but there's a few memorable kills and some interesting tidbits for Raimi fans.

Please feel free to comment on the movie and/or blog. Any constructive criticism or positive feedback is always welcome.

Just Watched: Satan's Little Helper (2004)

Even if you don't like the movie, you'll probably remember the mask

 Jeff Lieberman became known in the 70's and 80's for his oddball cult hits Squirm (1976), Blue Sunshine (1978) and Just Before Dawn (1981), then he basically vanished for several years. He finally resurfaced in 2004 with another oddball film called Satan's Little Helper, a very low budget horror-comedy that takes place on Halloween.

Satan's Little Helper tells the story of a young boy who is obsessed with the video game named after the movie title. It involves going around doing horrible things to people as an assistant to Satan. This Halloween the young boy's goal is to find Satan and be his helper. He finds a masked serial killer, mistakes him for Satan and follows him throughout the night not realizing that he's actually killing people.

Worse looking video game ever??

There's really no movie quite like Satan's Little Helper. It takes it's plot and stretches it to implausible situations, but as the film gets more and more ridiculous as nobody can seem to figure out this guy's a serial killer it becomes more enjoyable. As long as the audience can look at it in a humourous way they should be able to enjoy this quite a bit.

It's not for everybody, however. There's a scene with a cat meeting a painful death, running over handicapped people and some groping scenes involving some women and the serial killer. Some of the characters are also really dumb: the kid seems really, really dense as he is oblivious to what is happening around him, and the mom may be the worst mom to ever be in a movie.

There are, however, many memorable scenes here: the cat scene, a party where the killer has a victim but everybody thinks it's a joke, the grocery cart scene, it's probably one of the better really low budget movies in the last ten years. It's entertaining, oddball, contains some gory scenes, and some good laughs, basically everything you would expect from this type of film.

Definitely a highlight of the film

Availability: You should be able to find it on DVD for relatively cheap. The picture quality and DVD itself aren't really the best quality but keep in mind it is very low budget. It contains a commentary and making of featurette. 

If you're not a fan of some off colour humour or think the concept is dumb you probably won't enjoy Satan's Little Helper, but if you want a great little horror-comedy that has a little bit of everything then you should definitely check it out.

Please feel free to comment on the movie and/or blog. Any constructive criticism or positive feedback are always welcome.

Just Watched: Unearthed (2007)

I guess Michelle Rodriquez was unavailable

In 1979 the world of sci-fi horror changed forever with the release of Ridley Scott's Alien. 35 years later the film is still iconic, hasn't aged much and is still the standard for the sub-genre. Many films have been inspired by it and try to make their own worthwhile addition to sci-fi horror, but ultimately fail. In 2007 Unearthed tried to do this, did it succeed or is it another sci-fi horror that failed as well??

In Unearthed a transport truck crashes and blocks off the only road through a small town. It also just so happens to be a gas truck, so the only gas station around is out of fuel. So, over time a group of people builds up and are forced to spend the night at the home of the gas station owner. It turns out the truck may have been attacked by some alien or creature and it decides to attack the gas station that night.

They get attacked by....a large lobster??

Right from the opening credits it seems obvious that Unearthed is of made-for-tv quality. It's another film that maybe wouldn't be so bad if it had an original idea in there somewhere. The movie slowly plods along agonizingly slow as it tries to explain how this creature came to be while it starts picking off the stereotypical cast. We've got the wise old Native American, the Michelle Rodriquez tough chick, the blond slut, the red neck with the guns, the profane gangsta black man, and more. There's no back story to any of these paper thin characters except one absolutely unnecessary one for the tough chick that attempts to explain why she's a heavy drinker.

To make things worse Unearthed has some of the worst special effects to appear in a theatrical release in some time. These are made-for-tv effects all the way. The alien itself is an unoriginal mix of alien and predator and even has a detachable part that somewhat resembles an alien face hugger. So the combination of awful effects, terrible generic characters and dull story make this one very difficult film to watch.

How many movies have had the old, wise Native American??

Availability: Unearthed is available as a stand alone DVD, a four pack with Dark Ride, The Gravedancers, and Borderland or packaged with all 8 films from the 2007 edition of the After Dark Horrorfest. It seems those involved didn't wanna talk about the film as there are absolutely no bonus features related to it at all.

So, unless you absolutely have to see every creature sci-fi movie out there, there is absolutely no reason to sit through this garbage, as like many in the genre these days, you've seen it all far too many times before, and done much much better.

Please feel free to comment on the movie and/or blog. Any constructive criticism or positive feedback is always welcome.

Just Watched: The Final Terror (1983)

There's definitely some nice scenery

In the early 80's there was no shortage of slashers happening during camping trips or at camps themselves. Some of the most popular were the Friday the 13th series, The Burning and Sleepaway Camp. There were, however, several other less popular releases such as The Final Terror, a.k.a Carnivore. Does it deserve a place among the best or is it better off forgotten??

The Final Terror tells the story of a bunch of forest rangers and some female friends who end up camping in the wrong area and are terrorized by a killer decked out in forest camouflage. The cast included some rising stars such as Rachel Ward and Daryl Hannah.

Can't tell what's going on?? Exactly!!

This movie was shelved for a couple of years before it was released to take advantage of those rising stars, and it shows. Despite some interesting ideas this isn't a very good film. All the characters do throughout the film is fight with each other, and it gets old really fast. Really the highlight of the movie is probably the scenery itself: tall trees, rivers, some deer, it's all beautiful and adds at least something to the movie.

Much of the movie, even during the day scenes, is far too dark, making it difficult to see what's happening. Scene after scene like this sucks the fun out of it very quickly. Regardless of lighting The Final Terror is boring and uninspired, has no atmosphere, a low body count, very little violence and no nudity, usually sub-genre staples. Apparently they had difficulty picking a title for the film, which isn't a surprise since most of what's here is a few good ideas sloppily thrown together without a clear vision of what they wanted. The killer itself was an interesting idea, but barely appears in the film at all.

You'll see some familiar faces

Availability: While you can find it under either title on DVD they are very difficult to find and has a poor transfer, however, Scream Factory is releasing it on DVD/Blu-ray combo July 1st. It's an odd choice for them, but it should really help with the dark scenes for fans of the movie.

Unless you are a slasher completionist or wanna see some of these actors in an earlier role there really isn't a reason to watch The Final Terror. It's boring, the characters are annoying, there's not many kills, and it really offers nothing that hasn't been done better elsewhere other than an interesting killer that barely gets any screen time at all.

Feel free to comment on the movie and/or blog. Any constructive criticism or positive feedback is always welcome.

Coming Soon: Silent Night Deadly Night (1984) 30th Anniversary on Blu-ray

Christmas is coming early this year as it's been revealed that Anchor Bay is releasing a 30th Anniversary edition of the classic Christmas slasher Silent Night Deadly Night on Blu-ray. Though there isn't an official press release it looks like it's coming September 16 uncut and with a new commentary. Here's hoping they can clean up some of the scenes that are not in the cut version such as the full version of the deer antler impalement. Check out the original trailer above.

Just Read: Afterlife with Archie: Escape from Riverdale (2014)

The art inside is fantastic too

Although Archie and the gang are American icons, staying relevant in an ever changing society can become difficult. Less people seem to be interested in the wholesome fun of the 50's and 60's that the comics often portray so as popularity waned some changes had to be made. In 2007 Archie Comics decided to start using a new art style and even used it in the popular Double Digest's found at store check outs. The art was featured on the covers as well as the first multi-part story in each issue while the remainder of it was the comics that many had grown up reading and loving.

The art style didn't seem to be very popular, and it's humorless soap opera stories didn't seem to be either, so this style isn't used anymore. In 2010 Kevin Keller, Riverdale's first gay character, was introduced, and that seemed to be the beginning of Archie's rise back towards the popularity it once had. In 2012 Life With Archie #23 was released with a variant cover titled "Afterlife with Archie" with the title character being attacked by some zombified versions of Riverdale's residents on it. Inside was zombie-free and many seemed disappointed. Eventually it all lead to this graphic novel, written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and illustrated by the fantastic Francesco Francavilla.

The cover that started it all

Afterlife with Archie: Escape from Riverdale collects the first five issues in one very nice graphic novel that's similar to the popular Walking Dead ones. Unlike the Walking Dead though, Archie isn't in black and white, but it also isn't really full colour. There are a lot of dark colours mixed in with some orange and purple and does a great job of setting the mood and atmosphere.

This collection of issues is about the outbreak. Jughead's beloved pet Hot Dog has died so he goes to Sabrina the Teenage Witch to see if she can help him out. While declined at first she finally agrees to bring Hot Dog back to life. Unfortunately when he comes back, he's just like the animals from Stephen King's Pet Semetary, bites Jughead and spreads the infection from there. The story is very well written and includes several flashbacks to flesh out the story and characters instead of a basic straight forward storytelling approach.

Escape does a great job at taking the classic characters of Riverdale and putting them in a modern setting. Archie is still the hero, Betty and Veronica still fight over him, Jughead's his best pal, Reggie's their friend but sometimes a jerk, and so forth. One great scene involves Dilton and Chuck discussing the finer points of horror classics at a Halloween party. So while the characters are basically the same, there are some new tweaks to them to make them more interesting.

If there are any complaints about this graphic novel it's some of the elements forced in to modernize it and the length of the book itself. In an attempt to bring things to current times there are references to social media such as Twitter that seem a little out of place. There's also a story line about one of the C-listers who may be hiding from one of the guys that she's lesbian. It's really unnecessary and takes a little bit out of the zombie fun in the book. In regards to length, although the book is fairly thick, due to much of the art taking up huge chunks of the pages it doesn't take very long to read through it. Also included are full page replicas of every cover variant of every issue.

Availability: You can either pick up each issue as they release, or pick up the graphic novel such as this one. It is also available digitally. Lastly you can also subscribe and get it delivered to your home by clicking here.

Whether you are an Archie fan or not, if you love horror, comics, and/or zombies then this is a must have for your collection. It may not be the longest graphic novel available but it is very well written, well illustrated and very entertaining for it's short time span. 

Please feel free to comment on the book and/or blog. Any constructive criticism or positive feedback is always welcome.

Just Watched: Scream (1996)

This killer may like horror movies a little too much

The '90s were a dark time for horror movies, and not in a good way. It seemed that after the barrage of horror flicks in the '80s many people had grown tired of them, so it came to the point that "crime thrillers" were being passed as "horror". Things would begin to change in 1996, however, with the release of Wes Craven's Scream. It switched things up by spoofing the slashers that had become so popular the decade before. Did it succeed in it's attempt??

Scream tells the story of Sydney Prescott and her friends as their small town is terrorized by a masked killer who seems to have a huge obsession with horror flicks. It also tells the story of a reporter who covers Sydney's past, a past that involved her mother being murdered, and about a young deputy struggling with getting respect in his position in the law.

David Arquette is excellent as the corny but lovable Dewey

Scream works very well as a spoof. It is very over the top, and takes all the cliches that the slasher genre is known for and has fun with it. It's all done in a way that generally shows love to the sub-genre itself without insulting it. The scenes where the cast is watching the original Halloween and one of the characters talks about the rules that need to be followed in order to survive is very genius and is probably the highlight of the film. Scream is also well written in that many viewers should have difficulty figuring out who the killer is, which definitely adds to the excitement and replayability of the film

Slashers are known for creative kills and Scream's highlights are the garage door and maybe the t.v. one while most of the others are rather forgettable. Those who love slashers for the nudity that's in many of them will be hugely disappointed to find out there is absolutely nothing here.

Where Scream falters a bit is being a horror movie. While it does a great job spoofing the classics, this film doesn't have the tension, scares, blood, gore or soundtrack that Halloween, Friday the 13th and others had. This film needs to be viewed as comedy by those who love the classics. For those new to the genre, however, there's the potential to be a little scared. The soundtrack is part of what takes the scares away as it's far too over the top to be anything but a comedy.

Arguably the best scene of the movie

Availability: You should be able to find Scream anywhere you go. It's available on both DVD and Blu-ray, and is packaged in many different options such as stand alone, packed with the first three, packed with all four and even one with the "Ghostface" mask.

Viewed as a comedy/spoof nobody should be disappointed by Scream. It's not perfect, but it's well written and is full of little tidbits that genre fans will enjoy. Viewed as a slasher film it doesn't quite come close to the genre's best but it is certainly a worthy addition to anybody's horror collection.

Please feel free to comment about the movie or blog itself. Any constructive criticism or positive feedback is always welcome.

Just Watched: Smiley (2012)

Don't know what "lulz" is?? You shouldn't be watching this movie

In this age of web chatting, memes, You Tube and internet culture it was inevitable that there would eventually be a horror movie about it. That all happend in 2012 with the release of what was promoted as a slasher named Smiley. In this film they even went as far as having a couple of so-called You Tube celebrities play a few of the characters.

Smiley starts with a girl named Ashley, who is about to start college shortly after the death of her mother. We meet her roommate and they immediately become friends. They end up getting involved with an urban legend where typing "I did it for the lulz" three times kills the person you are talking to. After Ashley does this she becomes paranoid and is being haunted by Smiley. Or is she?? Are people really being killed or is this all a joke??

Meet some of the most annoying guys to ever be in a horror movie

Really, the joke is on the audience as Smiley is awful in just about every way imaginable. Those hoping for the slasher film that was promoted will be stuck watching a pathetic thriller that moves at a snails pace, with barely any sign of blood, gore or nudity that slashers are know for. There really isn't much of a story either as the goal of the film seems to be about internet culture, showing us that hipsters are actually really cool and we should be nice to them, possibly a vague message about the dangers of web chat and a college professor preaching about his psychological theories about our existence.

Many involved seem extremely high on themselves about being in the movie, as many actors just drip with smugness. It almost feels like a vanity project for our two You Tube "celebrities", but the reason these guys are only popular on that site is obviously a lack of talent. Guys like Shane Dawson are only going to appeal to teenage girls, and will be hated by everybody else. It's really odd the filmmakers expected audiences to go out and pay for this in theaters or on DVD while featuring people whose material is usually viewed for free.

There really is nothing original about Smiley. It seems the writers were huge fans of movies such as The Ring and the Scream series and wanted to make their own version for hipsters. Basically every scene feels like it was ripped out of another movie, and it is absolutely loaded with predictable jump scares that try to make you jump at something as simple as someone walking into the room. There's also long periods where the whole urban legend seems forgotten about as Ashley visits a psychologist and her teacher about her problems.

Thought Smiley looked cool in the trailer?? He mostly looks like this in the film

Availability: You should be able to pick it up on DVD for around $5 used, with newer copies sometimes tripling that. There's no region one release on Blu ray but there is for region 2. It's interesting how the main selling point on the Blu ray case is "over 30 million trailer views", which doesn't bode well for the quality of the movie itself. You can also watch it free now on the official Smiley You Tube channel by clicking here, apparently the filmmakers must have felt embarrassed they were charging money for this.

If there's horror movies from the last several years that you should avoid, one of them should be Smiley. Unless you're a hipster, you're not gonna find very much enjoyment here, and if you regularly watch horror films you've seen the same thing done better several times before anyways.

Please feel free to comment about the movie and/or blog. Constructive criticism and positive feedback are always welcome.

Just Watched: The Hills Run Red (2009)

The movie starts with "history" of the lost film

Sometimes horror films, especially modern ones, start with an interesting concept only to lose their way somewhere through the movie. Whether it just gets too repetitive or they throw in a twist or twists that change the entire film, or it becomes too cliched many films end up going from huge potential to another clearance bin movie best left forgotten. The Hills Run Red starts off very promising, but does it deserve a spot in everybody's horror collection??

Hills tells the story of Tyler and his obsession over the lost film that this movie is named after. It was only briefly shown in theaters before it was pulled and never seen or heard of again. The director vanished and never made another film, and the cast was never heard of again. Tyler is able to track down the director's daughter who was involved in the film as a child, and convinces her to take him and his friends to where the movie was shot in hopes that maybe, just maybe, he may be able to track down the film himself.

The only footage remaining of the film was a creepy trailer

The Hills Run Red is a great example of how a movie with great potential can go so horribly wrong. It starts out really well, looking like it will be the best slasher in many, many years. It switches back and forth between the movie itself and "documentary" filming as Tyler and his friends film locations and interview people about the lost movie. It really makes it seem as though this lost film is for real and you really wanna figure out if it is, or if the people in it really died, and why it was pulled from theaters so fast.

The problem with so many horror films these days is they don't wanna come across as an '80s slasher. If the story followed teens on this trip and they all get killed, except one girl, who fights back or escapes it's like it's considered a failure, cliched or unoriginal. So now they force in twists to be "original", but at this point the twists have also become cliched and unoriginal. And this is where The Hills Run Red utterly fails. Halfway through we are given a few predictable, and awful twists that are sure to draw many groans from viewers, and the film eventually descends into "torture porn" territory where the mystery of the killer/s and motivations is gone and we just get boring, unimaginative torture scenes. It's really a shame as the first half of the film was fascinating, the second half, however, was painfully bad.

Babyface is a great addition to slashers, too bad the film isn't

Availability: You can pick up The Hills Run Red on DVD with a commentary, making of and trailer for under $5 used, and should be able to find it for under $10 for a new copy. No release for Blu-ray to date. You can also rent on Amazon Video in the U.S. and U.K.

Despite it's interesting premise The Hills Run Red ultimately falls far short of greatness. If you are into the torture porn sub-genre you may have some fun with this, but if you are expecting a new classic slasher you will be disappointed.

Please feel free to comment about the movie and/or blog. Constructive criticism and positive feedback are always welcome.

Just Watched: House (1986)

Aunt Elizabeth is just hanging around

Combining genres within a single film can be a difficult task. The director has to try and find the right balance between them otherwise the film doesn't work. House tries this by mixing horror with some comedy and fantasy and it works fairly well but is definitely a little uneven.

The story of House is all over the place but basically we are introduced to Roger Cobb, a Vietnam vet who makes a living as a writer. After his Aunt dies he moves into her house, where his son had gone missing and has never been found. She thought the house was haunted, and maybe that's why the son disappeared. Throughout the movie we meet several characters including Roger's neighbours, his ex-wife, and some of the soldiers he fought with through flashbacks in Vietnam.

Is this v-neck funny or just disturbing??

What makes House uneven is that it can't seem to entirely make up it's mind what it wants to be. There are several scenes that are obviously intended to be funny such as a few with a zombie hand, and Roger losing it on a fish, but there are also several scenes that show war in Vietnam that don't appear to be intended as funny and are actually kinda sad when you see how they affect Roger.

There are also some characters and plots that merely seem to exist for a joke or really nothing at all. The movie was promoted showing all this action and crazy monsters but really a lot of the film is Roger writing, reflecting on Vietnam and interacting with his neighbours. Also, it should be noted that this is a comedy first, horror second. You may get a few laughs out of it, intentional or not, but you're most likely not going to get much, if any scares. However, the action does pick up at the end and the last 10 mins are great.

Definitely the best part of the movie

Availability: House is available on DVD as a part of the "Midnight Madness Series" and goes for $10-15 for new copies and under $10 if you want it used. The DVD contains the trailer and no other special features. There are no plans for a Blu-ray release at this time.

If you are looking for a relatively fun '80s horror/comedy you certainly could do a lot worse than House, but it certainly doesn't reach the levels of Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988). If you wanna be scared, shocked or disturbed then look elsewhere.

Now Playing: Charlie Murder (Xbox 360)

You'll fight all kinds of horrible enemies such as this guy

UPDATE!! Ska Studios has announced the patch is finally available, fixing several issues in the game. Click here for full details.

Available today for free until the end of the month to Gold subscribers is the Xbox Live Arcade game from Ska Studios, Charlie Murder. Charlie Murder combines the classic beat 'em up formula from classic games such as Streets of Rage and adds some RPG elements such as leveling up and picking new abilities and increasing your stats.

The game tells the story of Charlie and Paul, two guys playing together who want to start a band and become big. Unfortunately for Paul, Charlie starts up a punk band called Charlie Murder with some other friends and Paul is left to wallow in his self pity. To get revenge Paul cuts a deal with the devil and raises the dead to stop Charlie and starts a metal band called Gore Quaffer. Who will win in this battle of the bands??

You wanna feel bad for Paul but his anger is just too funny

While the game mechanics for Charlie Murder are pretty simple, the RPG elements really add to the game. You and up to four friends play as one of the five band members and fight your way through hordes of zombies, pirates, guys with pumpkins on their heads, guys with chainsaws, witches with pistols, ninjas, and even Sasquatches. While each character has the same basic punch and kick attacks they also have different abilities that make them unique. For example Kelly has a scream attack that surrounds her in protective safety pins, Tommy can take decapitated heads and make a totem pole that allows characters to heal or brain totem poles that shoot out lasers and Rex hops on his drum set to spew knives and other sharp objects at enemies to defeat them.

These abilities are gained by leveling up and also by getting tattoos for your characters in tattoo parlors. You can also attack with the various debris that ends up scattered throughout the levels as well such as knives, guns, heads, chainsaws, arms and more. Charlie Murder also mixes up the action so you never get bored. There's mini-games like a Rock Band-like music play along, skateboarding, and even a child on a harness who eats garbage.

The mini-games do a great job keeping things interesting

Charlie Murder isn't for everybody though. The game is very violent and bloody, including stomping enemies heads and eating their brains and it's screechy punk soundtrack, despite fitting the game perfectly, may not be everybody's cup of tea. There's also some multiplayer connection issues and a glitched achievement (though a patch is in the works). These are just minor though for a game that's basically been made by two people, is fairly long and contains three difficulties, each with a unique alternate version of each character.

So, other than a few minor quibbles Charlie Murder is very highly recommended to anybody who loves punk, rock or metal music, blood and gore, or just a really fun beat 'em up. And if you're a gold member for Xbox Live there really isn't a reason for you to not pick it up for free before the end of the month. 

For more on Ska Studios click here

Just Watched: Sorority House Massacre (1986)

Probably the bloodiest part of the movie

During the huge wave of slashers in the '80s it didn't take very long to see a lot of similarities in many of the movies. There were countless numbers of them taking place in camps, schools and on holidays, and many had killers that simply could not be killed. Another common theme was sorority houses and slumber parties with a group of women being attacked by some psychotic killer. Originally there were films such as Slumber Party Massacre (1982) and The House on Sorority Row, and eventually Sorority House Massacre (1986).

While the first two movies mentioned above offered something worthwhile to the sub-genre, by the time Sorority House Massacre released a few years later it seemed like slashers had run out of fresh ideas. SHM tells the story of a girl who joins a sorority house and starts having nightmares about this psychotic man killing in the sorority house itself. Does she know this man?? Has she been to this house before?? Are these just dreams or are they real??

The "dress up" scene is about the only memorable thing here

The problem with SHM is that other than the very campy "dress up" scene there's really nothing that hadn't been done several times before, and that makes for a rather boring movie. Despite running at a mere 74 mins this film doesn't really feel nearly that short. It has its fun moments, and has a pretty cool synthesizer soundtrack, but it doesn't have any memorable characters, villains,kills or any atmosphere. It sometimes feels as though its composed of bits and pieces of other slashers. The movie also can't seem to make up it's mind whether it's serious or funny, and really turns out being neither. Just mostly mediocre and forgettable.

You'll probably forget this guy shortly after the credits roll

Availability: New copies are often going for over $25 but you can probably get a used copy for less than $10 on DVD. It is also packaged as a double feature with the first sequel, the creatively named Sorority House Massacre II. If you can wait though, Scorpion Releasing is supposed to be releasing the film on blu-ray in July.

It's really difficult to recommend Sorority House Massacre to anybody. Slumber Party Massacre is a much better choice for some cheesy fun, and is better in every way while The House on Sorority Row is a much better choice for something a bit more serious. Unless you need to see every slasher film ever released this movie offers nothing new or interesting to the sub genre and should be passed over.

What I Want: Scream Factory Treatment for Dolls (1987)

Right from the start this movie is a little on the creepy side of things

Anybody who has purchased a "Scream Factory" DVD or Blu-ray knows that their releases are for the genre fans by fans themselves. Right now they seem to be the leader in releasing quality DVD/Blu-rays packed with extras, and the best video and audio these movies have been seen in for out of print and unreleased "cult" films. So Stuart Gordon's under-appreciated gem Dolls would be a great film for Scream Factory to release in the future.

Dolls tells the story of a group of people who end up at the home of a lonely old couple whose home is filled with dolls, magical dolls. And since this is a horror movie you just know those dolls will probably end up killing some people. There really isn't another film like this: it doesn't feel trashy like most other "doll" horror movies and definitely has a fantasy feeling to it.

These dolls would never hurt anybody...or would they??

What sets Dolls apart from other "doll" horror movies such as the Child's Play series and Dolly Dearest is while those are about one doll who ends up being possessed by something evil, the dolls here have other reasons for what they do. They also don't curse and swear and speak fluent English either. This is the type of film they don't seem to make anymore as the dolls are animated with stop motion. This method, however, adds a sort of realism to the dolls coming to life as it actually is a real doll walking, not some CGI doll as they would probably do it today.

Dolls is available on a DVD from MGM but it is out of print and its availability and pricing can vary greatly. Right now you can pick up a copy on amazon.com for a little over $20 used. It is also available in a MGM 6 Movie Collection packed with Pumpkinhead and Scarecrows among others but it can also be difficult to find. Lastly it is also on Region 2 blu-ray with a commentary.

Yup, this movie even has a giant teddy bear in it

Since MGM has had some of their other films released by Scream Factory I'm really hoping that Dolls can be added to the list of their next projects. It truly is a movie that should be seen by anybody who enjoys a fantasy-horror movie or loves movies with creepy dolls. Replacing the original cover with another great illustration by Nathan Thomas Milliner would be great as well. I'm waiting Scream Factory!!!

For more on Scream Factory click here 

Just Watched: Unhinged (1982)

Get used to watching them talk at this table

Shooting a horror film on a low budget does not necessarily mean it will be awful, oftentimes they will achieve cult status because of crazy kills, oddball stories and memorable characters even if the acting wasn’t very good or special effects looked cheap. Unhinged, however, is not one of those films.

Through it’s short 79 min length we are told the story of three girls on their way to a music festival. Things go awry and they end up in a home with an ugly middle aged woman named Marion and her crazy mother. The mother seems to hate all men for some reason, and there are creepy breathing noises at night. Will these three girls survive??

This scene should have been awesome, but it's not

Chances are you probably won’t care. Anything that the film may have had going for it quickly vanishes when the first kill finally happens. The time it takes to actually get to it is bad enough, but once you see how ineptly shot it is and the laughable music that plays you’ll probably wanna switch to something else. It’s not that the music is that bad generally, but the synthesizer heavy soundtrack does not fit the film at all.

Another one of the UK’s video nasties, it’s inclusion is a bit of a head scratcher. Yes, it has some unnecessary shower scenes including one with full frontal nudity, but the violence is rather tame and some is shown off screen. Most of the actors involved in Unhinged were just locals and it is painfully obvious. Whether the girls are talking to each other, or to others such as the man who helps them at the start of the film it has to be some of the most wooden performances caught on film. Many conversations just feel like the actors are reading lines to each other, no emotion involved. Even those who are not one to complain often about acting may find themselves doing so here.

Unhinged is also poorly filmed with shots that linger far to long on a character just talking and talking and talking, and the kills are really lame. Whether you consider this a slasher or not will largely depend on what you define a slasher as. The kill count here is low, and comes across more as a movie about a creepy house and it’s residents, more Psycho than Friday the 13th.

A face not even her mother loves

Availability: If you don’t mind buying used you may be able to pick up a copy of Unhinged on DVD used for less than $5 since there seems to be several people who purchased it and hated it. No word on a blu-ray release yet. It has also been uploaded to You Tube where it can be viewed for free.

Although there are people out there who will enjoy Unhinged, it’s difficult to really recommend it to anybody. Despite it’s misleading packaging it’s not really gory or violent, the characters are boring, it’s poorly shot, the music does not go with the film and it has no atmosphere. You’re much better off watching Psycho (1960) or even the rather bland Burnt Offerings (1976) over this waste of time.

Just watched: Maniac (1980)

The chokes on him

Considered one of the darker of the early ’80s slashers, Maniac mixed things up a bit by following the murderer instead of the “good guys” as most slashers did. Depending on what you are looking for, this can be either a good thing or a bad thing.

Maniac tells the story of Frank Zito, a man who was abused by his mother as a child, and now spends his time killing women, slicing off their scalps and nailing them to the mannequins he keeps in his home. While some consider this film to be tasteless and unwatchable (including Gene Siskel who walked right out of the film) it actually can be viewed as how a person can be affected by abuse, not just as a child, but as an adult as well.

If you're looking up at this you're probably about to die

If you are watching Maniac just for the violence and gore then you shouldn’t be disappointed. Tom Savini doesn’t disappoint again with the highlight being the shotgun scene partway through the film. However, if you are expecting your typical slasher you may be disappointed. There’s a lot more story and drama in this than most, and it doesn’t have drunk teenagers, excessive nudity, and the “good guys”  to root for that you may be used to.

And while seeing the movie through the killers eyes and through his thoughts may appeal to some, to others the mystery of the who-dunnit, and why they are killing will simply not be there. The film also leaves you feeling kind of dirty, everything from it’s grungy look to Frank spending time with his mannequins. There’s also a part of the story that seems like a bit of a stretch, which can take some wind out of the story.

Frank is one messed up dude

Maniac has a low budget look to it, and it should, as it was shot for very little money, and even uses adult film stars as some of the actresses because they couldn’t afford “real” actresses. Director William Lustig had shot some porn films so he probably had connections.

Availability: on VHS, DVD and blu-ray, you should be able to get yourself a copy for less than $20 or once again for Americans it’s available to rent on Amazon Video for $2.99

If you love violence and gore, or want a look into a serial killer’s viewpoint then you should check out Maniac, but if you are expecting a “fun” movie like many other slashers could be viewed as, you may want to look elsewhere.

Just Watched: Nightmare (1981)

George is pretty angry

Can one or two great scenes make a movie worthwhile?? That is the question many will probably ask after watching Nightmare. Sometimes considered one of the trashier slasher films of the early ’80s along with Maniac, Nightmare contains arguably one of the most memorable kills ever shown in a slasher flick. Unfortunately what we have to suffer through to get to it is a story of a mental patient that’s lost track of who goes around killing victims while his doctor tries to find him before it turns into the story about a really irritating kid named C.J. and his family while our killer is a little forgotten for awhile.

Trying to stay awake through all this may be a challenge, but it is well worth it to see what happens when a young boy walks in on his father and his kinky games. What ensues is surely one of the most insanely ridiculous and bloody scenes out there.

You'll see this more than once

Probably the most interesting story of Nightmare is the history of the film itself. If you see a trailer for the movie it was heavily promoted as having special effects by the legendary Tom Savini, but apparently that’s not true and he was only a consultant on the special effects. Whether that’s true or not the special effects are quite impressive and violent, and look like Tom could have done them.

Nightmare was also one of the video nasties in the UK, and was banned for several years. This is the kinda film that those against slashers would use in their argument against them. It’s violence was pretty strong at the time, and it is full of unnecessary scenes at a strip joint, women changing and more than one shower scene that exist in the movie for nothing more than seeing some skin.

Availability: The cheapest option is to rent it on Amazon Video if you live in the U.S. However, if you don’t then you’re looking at $70+ to get your hands on a DVD copy. Another option is also You Tube where the uncut version is available for free.

Don't worry he will get his hands on somebody soon

Whether you feel Nightmare is worth your time is entirely dependent on what you are looking for: if you are a big slasher fan you should check it out because of a cool scene or two as long as you don’t expect it to be great. If you are not really into slashers or gore or nudity then you are best to skip this one. Another option is to check out the version on You Tube and watch the main kill scene in full at the end of the movie.

To watch the full movie uncut click here. Full credit to Chris Corbett